what is it about this town? // jenna

[Carson Graham Everett]

It's a mad world and we're all just tossed around in it

Carson parked his brand new, non-descript tan sedan next to the curb in front of the familiar diner. He'd tried telling his boss that driving his own blue Camaro would have made more sense since he was undercover, but the man was stubborn. Well, Carson had changed enough as a person that driving this Buick wouldn't be completely out of place. He could always say he was borrowing it if someone decided to question his taste in automotives. He took a deep breath before stepping out of the car and onto the curb. This place hadn't changed at all, only his perspective of it. So much had changed since he'd last been here. He wasn't the person he used to be, for more than one reason.

All Carson was doing at the moment was avoiding the real issue that kept circling around and around in his mind ever since he'd hit the South Dakota state line. Ever since he'd gotten the orders to return to Converse, if he was being honest with himself. Jenna Black. There was so much history there. Love and hatred. Fear and desire. It was all there for him. He still hated what he'd become, but he no longer wished for death and Jenna probably wanted to take his head clean off his shoulders. He couldn't blame her. He probably would have taken his own life if he could have figured out a way to do it that would have worked. He supposed he could have just drank a wolfsbane milkshake or something, but he doubted he would have finished it.

Okay, Carson, you have to actually do something besides just stand there. The pep talk only half worked as he eyed the diner, wondering how he got into this mess in the first place. Oh yeah. Werewolves got him into this mess, and he still wasn't sure what course of action he was going to take where the locals were concerned. On one hand, he had a duty to the people he worked for to provide them with the information they desired - information he had. On the other hand, he felt the need to protect himself and his own secret, which would surely come out if he talked. Secrets that would be revealed anyway if the wolves in town were exposed. It was a dilemma, and he wasn't sure what side of the line he would come down on.

With that thought still firmly rooted in the back of his mind, Carson made his way into the diner where he'd eaten so many meals. It smelled different. That was his first thought. Then again, it was probably just that he smelled more than he had. Usually he tried to ignore it, but the heavy scent of grease, human body odor, food, cleaning supplies, perfume, and other various things made him wrinkle up his nose. Even after two years, it was overwhelming. Pots clanged behind the counter which made his face crumple even more. He was going to have a headache before he left here. At least the food was good. He remembered that much.

After his initial onslaught of information, Carson took a more careful look at the customers in the dingy little place. Three werewolves, ones he didn't know, and the rest human. One hunter. He filed away the information for later use while keeping an eye on everyone he could. He sat at a booth as far away from everyone else as he could get, ordered a coffee, and tucked his face half behind an open menu. The waitress came up and asked for his order... and she was another werewolf. This place was crawling with them! "You look like you could use a steak or four." He gave her a polite grin while at the same time wondering if that was some sort of wolf code talk that he was supposed to understand. "Ham and cheese omelette. I'll save the steak for later." What was it about this town, anyway? Crazy people, all of them.

[Jenna Rae Black]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 380px; border-left: 20px solid #7a9aa9; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 20px;] Fix me, It's taken a lifetime to lose my way. A lifetime of yesterdays. All the wasted time on my hands turns to sand, and fades in the wind. Crossing lines, small crimes, taking back what is mine. I'm fine in the fire, I feed on the friction, I'm right where I should be, don't try and fix me Jenna blinked dully at the bright sunlight, wondering where it came from. Her head throbbed with pain that started in her cheek and radiated inwards as she moved, and she gasped and tried really hard not to move in case it set the fire off again. Apparently, she'd been knocked out when she'd been hit last night. Probably didn't help that she'd already been a bit drunk by that point. She looked around warily, but Raymond seemed to be gone. "Bastard." Jenna got up and walked unsteadily to the bathroom, and winced when she caught sight of herself. Her cheek was bruised high on her cheekbone, and her eye was black. Great. That was going to suck. And it was going to be too painful to hide it just yet. Just getting her fingers near the bruise made it throb sharply with fiery pain. She opened the mirror above the sink and pulled down a bottle of Aleve. She poured out two little pills, and swallowed them with a handful of water from the sink. Her face throbbed with pain. At least, she thought, it looked like she'd done it to herself. Everyone knew she drank a lot, and it wasn't the first time she'd blamed her drinking on the bruises caused by her bastard of a father. She went into the kitchen to find the coffee, but there was none. Scowling even more now, she just stared into the empty container of coffee grounds. God damn it, now she'd have to do to the diner. She didn't want anyone seeing her, but she didn't have a choice. She sighed. She went back into the bathroom, and did what she could for her face. From a distance, the bruise wouldn't even be noticeable. Up close though... If someone keen was looking, they might see through the powder foundation. Sighing again, she grabbed her keys and locked up the apartment. She didn't have a car, but the diner was only a block away. Seemed like everything was only a block away here. She walked into the diner only a few minutes later. Her head was throbbing with bright hot pain from a combination of the bright sun, a slight hangover, and the bruise on her cheek. Apparently, she was going to be miserable whether or not she got that coffee, but she was here now... "Hey, Jenna! Usual?" Jenna looked blearily at the waitress when she walked in and nodded. "Yeah, the usual. I could use the coffee." The usual consisted of a black cup of coffee, and some bacon and eggs. She didn't really feel like chewing anything, but what choice was there? She had to eat. "Go find a seat then, I'll bring it out." Jenna grunted and turned to do just that, when a face caught her out of the crowd. She froze instantly, just... Staring. Her heart-rate started to pick up, and fear and desire and something else, something Jenna didn't recognize, rose up inside her. Sitting in a booth, the booth she liked the best no less, was Carson. Her former lover, the one she had left after refusing to kill him when he'd begged her to. Part of her screamed at her to flee, while another kept her rooted to the spot. The part that wanted to go over to Carson, and ask him to forgive her. Could he ever forgive her? Did he hate her? "Carson..." The voice was barely a whisper, but she knew he would hear it anyway. too lazy for notes

[/td][/tr][/table]

TEMPLATE BY TRINITY BLAIR @ CAUTION 2.0 & ATF

[/center]

[Carson Graham Everett]

listen to this while reading clicky

Carson waited patiently for his breakfast while studying the people in the diner. It was what he'd been trained to do, after all. At least in part. Observation was the key, even to the other parts of his job. And so he sat and watched. He scented the air periodically, and listened to conversations. The wolves at the tables on the far end spoke quieter than the rest, almost too softly for him to hear. Almost. They weren't talking about anything particularly important as far as he could tell, but he filed the information away anyway. It could all be useful in one situation or another. The hunter, on the other hand, was talking casually with another human about his plans for the weekend. Another hunting trip. Carson wondered if the man with him was also a hunter, though there was no scent of silver or wolfsbane on him. Hunters were really who he had to keep an eye on. They stood to gain the most if werewolves were exposed, depending on what the government decided to do about the situation. Knowing what he knew, their reaction wouldn't be a good one. The hunters would have to be kept quiet and in the dark for as long as possible.

Carson took another deep breath in through his nose, trying to separate all the different scents, but one stuck out to him. No, not here. Not now.... He closed his eyes and waited, prayed really, that he hadn't smelled what he thought he had. A moment later, the bell over the door dinged and his thoughts were confirmed when the waitress greeted Jenna by name. He hadn't expected to see her so soon after arriving in Converse. Still, he didn't want to open his eyes. He didn't want to get reminded of the love they'd shared only to have it ripped away from them. He didn't want to see the distaste on her face if she saw him, so he hung his head and hoped she didn't notice. He couldn't close his ears, though, and the sound of her voice after two years sent a small shiver down his spine. Jesus, he loved her. She might hate him, but he still loved her with everything he had. He loved her with everything he didn't have, too.

Carson needed to get it together. Jenna made a convenient cover story, but she wasn't why he was here. Not that he couldn't take advantage of it, and use the story provided, but that didn't mean he could just let his guard down. Using her as a cover story and trying to rekindle their relationship were two vastly different things. She didn't deserve a monster in her life, and he wouldn't give her one. He'd keep his distance as much as he could. He could do that, right? "Carson..." Dammit. His name. Just his name and that was all it took to break his heart all over again. He was trying to do the noble thing. He was trying to keep himself away from her so she'd be safe from him, so she could move on.

Slowly, Carson lifted his head and looked into the eyes of the woman he still loved, even after all this time. He listened to her heart rate pick up and he could see the fear etched into her features. He wasn't a man given to tears, but he could feel his eyes burn. For a moment, all he did was stare. All he saw was her panic and indecision. He didn't want her to feel that way. She didn't owe him anything. If anything, he owed her.

Taking a deep breath, Carson gave Jenna the only thing he could think to give her. The only thing he had left to give. A way out. He brought his right hand up, touched his temple, then pointed to the door. A simple, "go that way." Then he touched his shoulder twice. "Stay and hide." His hand continued to move, albeit slowly, speaking the silent language that was special just between the two of them as his heart raced. He told her to run, to hide, to stay away from him. Then before he could stop himself, he added one more. It was the one signal that had no purpose for hunting. It was just for them. A sign of wishing the other person safety, of hope that they'd see each other again, of everything they'd wanted to say to one another knowing the worst might happen at any moment. It was a sign that stood for all of it, but most of all... love. Two fingers to his lips, then his heart.

[Jenna Rae Black]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 380px; border-left: 20px solid #7a9aa9; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 20px;] Fix me, It's taken a lifetime to lose my way. A lifetime of yesterdays. All the wasted time on my hands turns to sand, and fades in the wind. Crossing lines, small crimes, taking back what is mine. I'm fine in the fire, I feed on the friction, I'm right where I should be, don't try and fix me Broken. That was how Jenna felt as she stood, staring, confused and distressed at Carson. When he had looked up at her, all of her will to flee had vanished from her in an instant. She couldn't have run even if he'd told her to, not with those eyes locked on hers. And, surprisingly, he did tell her to. Not by speaking, not with his voice, anyway. She watched as his hand lifted, and he made the signal for "Go that way." She kept watching, transfixed as he signed to "stay and hide" as well. Her heart began to break, but she saw no anger in Carson, nothing but... Love? Jenna's eyes began to burn with the need to cry, but she refused to let the tears fall. His hand moved again, and the gesture he made nearly had her sobbing on the floor. It was one that they had made when they needed to separate on a hunt, one that was special to only the two of them. When he had first signaled her to run and hide, she had taken an involuntary step backwards. Not because she wanted to go, but because the signal was so... Unexpected it had simply rocked her back a step. She knew he wouldn't have seen it like that, though. And as he kept signalling, the fear she had felt had... Vanished. Not completely, she could feel it still, but now it was buried deep under the swirling desire and that strange emotion she had no name for. Surely it wasn't love? But that was what it felt like... Even if fear was twining with the other two emotions, making her feel nauseous in a way that her hangover didn't. Jenna did possibly the hardest thing she'd ever done in her life. She moved forward, her steps slow but sure. She knew Carson was trying to give her an out, knew what he was doing, but she couldn't take it. She had run out on him once. She couldn't do it again. When she reached the booth, she watched him, her face blank but her eyes filled with emotion. She knew he would be able to tell. Even if no one else could read her, Carson had always been able to, regardless of how she tried to hide it. Her face throbbed with pain as she forced herself to keep her face a blank mask, and she wondered if he would see the bruise through her makeup. His eyes had always been keen, always been able to see things she hadn't wanted him to. "Can I sit with you?" Her voice was soft, but nearly choked her anyway. Unshed tears made her eyes glisten, even though she battled them back. Even if he didn't see the bruise through her makeup, there was no hiding it once her tears washed the makeup away. She blinked once, and the tears backed off, at least a little bit. She stood, silent, waiting for him to answer her. too lazy for notes

[/td][/tr][/table]

TEMPLATE BY TRINITY BLAIR @ CAUTION 2.0 & ATF

[/center]

[Carson Graham Everett]

It's a mad world and we're all just tossed around in it

As much as he tried, Carson simply couldn't look away from Jenna. She didn't quite look the same as she had, not because she'd changed, but because his vision had. Even from this distance, he could see un-shed tears glisten in her eyes. He could have counted her eyelashes if he'd wanted to. He could see the individual threads that made up her clothes, could see the light reflecting of each and every gorgeous hair on her head. And she was beautiful. More so than his memory of her which was saying something. He'd seen her through these new eyes before, of course, but he'd been so overwhelmed with everything else, that he hadn't really been able to focus on just her. Now he could.

Carson watched as she took a step backward, away from him, and his heart broke. He knew he was doing the right thing by sending her away, knew it was for her own good, but he still didn't want her to be afraid of him. He didn't want to see that fear in her eyes. And then, against all odds, some of that fear vanished. His brows furrowed just slightly. He knew that look. She was fighting it. He wanted her to just go, he wanted her to make this as easy as possible for the both of them, and at the same time he wanted to snatch her up into his arms and never let her go. He wanted to hold her and tell her that he was okay, that he wouldn't hurt her or anyone else. He wanted to share everything with her... but she deserved better than a monster like him.

Carson was frozen when Jenna started walking toward him, both to his seat and in his expression. It was unbelievable. He knew she was afraid of him. Not only was she afraid of him, but he'd told her to go. He'd given her a way out. Why wasn't she taking it? He knew she wasn't a masochist, so why was she torturing herself just to approach him? He kept his eyes fixed on hers as she approached, unable to look away but still unable to believe what she was doing. He was a monster, a viscous creature out of legend. What could he possibly offer her?

It was a moment before Carson unfroze. It was Jenna's un-shed tears that did it. He could tell that she was still afraid, but there was something else there. He knew what it looked like, but he wouldn't let himself think about what it would mean if she still loved him. She couldn't love him. He was... tainted. Diseased. But there had to be something pulling Jenna toward him. "Can I sit with you?" No, yes, please, never? He wanted to talk to her, to make her understand... but at the same time, she was better off without him. There was one dilemma. How did he scare her off without scaring her? Still, he couldn't find the strength to send her away a second time, and may he be damned for it. "Of course you can. Though I seem to remember you listening better when we were on a hunt." His eyes still burned, but he blinked it back and even managed a partial smile despite his internal struggles.

Carson still couldn't manage to take his eyes off Jenna's, but he did catch something that had been mostly hidden from the other end of the diner. Make up didn't quite cover the bruise on her cheek just below her eye. He broke eye contact and looked down, trying to force his anger down. Jenna was a strong, capable woman, and she didn't need him trying to defend her. He told himself that repeatedly, but it didn't stop the flash of rage at her father. He'd never really liked the man, despite the shared profession. Now, though... when his anger could get so out of control... For a moment, he tried to forget Jenna was there - a nearly impossible task - while he restrained himself. Then he did the one thing he'd always been good at. He lost himself. He closed his eyes, breathed through his mouth, and listened only to Jenna's heartbeat, slow and steady. Nothing else existed.

[Jenna Rae Black]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 380px; border-left: 20px solid #7a9aa9; background-image:url(http://i583.photobucket.com/albums/ss279/legendskseeker/fk5qwnjpg.png); padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 20px;] Fix me, It's taken a lifetime to lose my way. A lifetime of yesterdays. All the wasted time on my hands turns to sand, and fades in the wind. Crossing lines, small crimes, taking back what is mine. I'm fine in the fire, I feed on the friction, I'm right where I should be, don't try and fix me Jenna watched him, and managed, nearly, a smile when he mentioned she listened better when they were still hunting. "Maybe I forgot the signals." Obviously that was a lie, but she didn't care. She slowly sat down, sliding into the booth across from him. Her heart had slowed considerably, and she could actually hear herself think now. She nearly missed his look when she was sitting down, but when she lifted her head to look back up at him, she saw what looked, almost, like rage. Her heart seemed to stutter to a halt before she got herself under control again. She sat, though, very still across from him, just watching his face. A part of her wanted to reach out to him, to touch his cheek... But the other part of her, the one that feared, wouldn't allow it. She knew if she tried, she'd have a panic attack. "Carson?" She whispered his name, wanting, yearning to reach out to him, but too afraid to try. Instead, she hoped his name would rouse him enough for him to tell her what had upset him. Jenna nearly jumped out of her skin when the waitress came over with their food and drinks. She said something to them, but Jenna ignored it and took the cup of coffee in her hands as if it could protect her from... What? Carson? Did she need to be protected from him? He seemed so much the same as before... "I didn't know you were back in town..." She said softly, looking down into her coffee. Was she actually hurt he hadn't called her to tell her? Why? She had left him, after all, when he had needed her most. But she had been so sure he would hate her for not killing him... So certain he would want to kill her when he started his first shift... But after he had signaled to her to run, hide from him... And the last one... Her heart seemed to wrench in her chest when she remembered the last signal he had sent her. Without really thinking about it, she reached out and hesitantly touched his hand. Her heart jolted in her chest, but it wasn't fear. Not even close to fear. She wondered at the desire that filled her, but beat it back. It wouldn't help her think just now. "Are... You okay...?" too lazy for notes

[/td][/tr][/table]

TEMPLATE BY TRINITY BLAIR @ CAUTION 2.0 & ATF

[/center]