I Could Say So Much (open)

[Deleted]

It’s been far too long since Jason was last here. Too much time had past and this visit had been on his mind for months. With all the changes...the pack split...Luk...Connie...Ever...there was just no time. Today, though, it had been blessedly quiet at the house; no drama, no chores so it was the perfect opportunity for the alpha to slip away.

Even though it’s been so long, the man knew this path like the back of his hand. Navigating through the trees didn't require any of his attention at all. Before his rise in pack status, Jason made regular treks through these woods, to this place as often as he could. This spot was sacred to the guy. This was his quiet place. It was where his heart was buried so many years ago.

And this is where is heart had remained until so recently. It was what had compelled him to make the time to come back. There was a conversation he needed to have and here was the only place in the world where it could happen. Jason came out into the small clearing and, just as it always did, his throat constricted at the sight of the two small graves that lay before him. Amelia Genevieve Hale-Oliver marked the first one. Adelyn Elizabeth Oliver was on the second. His wife and child, side by side.

Taking a deep breath, the alpha stepped forward, the bouquet of flowers in his hands laid gently against the biggest of the two stones; the grave of his wife. "Hi Em..." There was so much to say, he didn't know where to start. "Well, Emmie, I did it. I have a son." The pride in the statement shone through clearly as tears welled in his eyes. "Awe, but he's a handful!" He exclaimed, with a good-natured chuckle. "His name is Lukan. He's sixteen and he's...he's smart and lively and has such a good heart." The grin remained on his face as he wiped a stray tear from one eye. "We've had our rows and battles, believe me...but oh, this one was worth it! I mean, just his progress and the trust he's shone me...I never thought I would feel this way after we lost our girl...but this kid...he's special." And truth be told, in some ways, Luk had rejuvenated the man. So few people now knew him well enough to understand but Jason had been so broken after the loss of his wife and child and up until finding Luk and Connie, he really thought that aspect of life was done for him. Now, so much had changed.

"And then there's Connie. Emmie, you really would have liked her. She's like the mother of the pack. She's so kind and caring...has such a big heart." And this is where his smile slipped. It was the hardest part of coming out here and saying these words in this place. Even knowing that, were she able to, Amelia would have never begrudged Jason his happiness...she would want him to move on, find peace and love again...still knowing that, Jason felt so much guilt. This woman, this baby, had been his whole world. That world was now altered and shifted and he felt like he almost didn't have the right to do that to their memories. "When I found Connie....I swear, for just a moment, it was like I had you again." The words were a soft whisper as he reached out a hand, placing it reverently against the stone in front of him. "She just...she has your kindness, your love for all the pups and your way of drawing people in..." With a sigh, he drew in a deep breath. "But she's also bold, brave, and that temper..." He was chuckling again even as he brushed away another tear. "You both would have got on well...."

Jason knelt down at the foot on the grave before him and as he readied himself to reveal the last of his news, his eyes flickered over to rest on the small headstone where his baby girl lay. "And then there's Everleigh." His head bowed for a moment before he turned his attention back to Amelia's headstone. "All I know of her now is her first name." He paused. "Em, there's something not right. Not with the girl....she's sweet and gentle, just a love...but....there's so much fear in her. And I can't get her to open up to me, not completely. Every time I try to talk to her about her life...herself…anything at all...she just cowers and I see such terror in her face that I can't bring myself to push her." It was clear that this was deeply troubling to the big guy. "You know me...I'll push on, find another way to find the truth but I don't think....I know I'm not going to like what I find. I can feel it." And that was why he was dragging his feet. Everleigh had been pack for almost a month and still her first name was all Jason had. He planned to rectify that as soon as he could get away and into town again but just as he said; something inside was telling him that the truth would be painful.

With that off his chest, Jason just sat back, lost in his thoughts and memories for a moment before the crunch of leaves brought him out of his own head for a second. Turning his attention toward the sound, he tried to see through the trees and see if he could pick up who might be approaching. Not many people tended to come this way. It was kind of odd that he would hear footsteps. "Hello?" he called.

====================

[/size][/center]

tagged: person you're writing to
words: word count
notes: notes
lyrics: we are one from the lion king II
credit: LAVIEBOHEME @ caution 2.o

[Connie Lynn Marshall]

Casted out

I’m watching your eyes

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style,background-image: url('http://i996.photobucket.com/albums/af82/sataraalcaelahn/Lux%20Lunae/bluegradient.jpg');,true][cs=2] Love is like starting over

[atrb=width,240] Connie's heart ached softly as she reached the pack house. She didn't go in, instead walking around it to find the graveyard that was hidden deeper in the woods. The pack graveyard had been barred to Connie since she had moved to the Lupus Virtus pack with her Uncle, a mistake she still regretted to this day. She'd been in the pack for nearly a full month now, and she had never felt more at home. More at peace. But now, she knew she couldn't hold it off. It'd been what felt like ages since she had visited her mother and father's graves. She hadn't dared come back here when she wasn't in the pack, but now... She had been putting it off for a month now. She had to go visit them. She walked softly through the forest, eyes distant as she remembered her mother. She had never known her father, having died when she was only a couple weeks old. He had been an old wolf, and had started to loose control. The pack had to put him down, but Connie knew it had always grieved her mother. She strayed away from the time when Connie was seven and the hunter took her mother away from her. She didn't want to remember that, not just now. She wanted to remember her mother's beautiful face as she smiled at Connie, or sang to her when she woke up crying from a nightmare. Greg hadn't been a good guardian, not knowing how to care for a child. But Anna... Anna had been born to be a mother. She was nearly to the clearing where the pack hid their graveyard when she realized she wasn't alone. She stopped, her foot crunching on some dry leaves and twigs. She froze, staring out, then relaxed as she saw Jason turn towards her, calling out to see who was there. She just watched him for a moment from the safety of the shadows where he couldn't see her. Her heart went out to him as she realized why he was there too, but at the same time, it beat a little faster in her chest. The kiss they had shared, the way he had held her. Connie hadn't ever felt like this for anyone, but, looking at Jason, she gloried in the feeling. Slowly, she stepped out of the forest so he could see her too. She didn't say anything for a moment, just looking over at him and giving him a soft, slightly sad smile. Finally, she spoke. "I didn't mean to interrupt you, Jason," She said softly, her voice carrying to him over the short distance. She walked closer so she was standing a few feet away. "I didn't know you were out here. I would have waited until later if I had..." She glanced over, and saw where he was standing. It didn't surprise her, and her heart ached only more for him. His first wife, and his stillborn baby. Connie wasn't sure if she could stand to lose a child like Jason had. She ached to hold him, to give him comfort, but didn't know if that was right. Would Amelia's spirit want to see her husband hugging another woman? Connie had no idea. She wished she could have met her so she could have known for sure. "I came out here to see my mom..." She glanced back up at Jason and gave him another sad smile. "I guess we both had the same idea." She held up the small clutch of flowers she held, surprise lilies she had picked before coming out here. They had been her mother's favorite, having always said that when you find a surprise lily, you knew Spring was indeed here. She glanced down at them, then picked out a few, holding them out to Jason. "For Amelia." She gave him a slightly shy smile as she held out the flowers for him to place on his dead wife's grave. She hoped he wouldn't be offended. "They're the first flowers I saw when I was coming down here. My mother loved them. Maybe Amelia would like them too."

[atrb=width,100] words , tagged , Jason notes , Sad memories

table by Kat ;; lyrics by 10 Years

[Deleted]

Just before she stepped out of the trees, the breeze shifted, bringing Connie's scent to Jason and he smiled. He wiped at his face quickly, drying his eyes. And speaking of Connie... he thought to himself. Jason got to his feet as Connie emerged, brushing himself off lightly. "No, you're not interrupting anything. I was just sitting here." He couldn't resist reaching out his hand to her. He didn't think it would be appropriate to embrace her in this place either but he still couldn't stand to not show some kind of affection. "I'm glad you came when you did. I was just talking about you." And his smile grew a bit more as he gestured over his shoulder at the graves he had just been visiting. "I had a lot to fill the girls in on...Luk...Ever...you. I was just telling Amelia how much she would have liked you. I think you both would have been fast friends." They had so much in common.

Connie's eyes fell to the graves, too and she looked a bit sad. Jason figured that was the obvious, normal reaction to have in a place like this. He gave her hand a gentle tug to bring her closer as she spoke of visiting her mom. "Yes, it seems we did have the same thing on our mind today." And it made Jason wonder why she would feel compelled to visit her mother today. Did she come here often? Was this the anniversary of her death? He wouldn't ask, though. He felt it might be a bit too personal. "I used to come out here all the time, before I took over the pack. Its been a few months since I was last here." Hopefully so much time wouldn't pass until he could come back.

Connie held up the small bunch of flowers she brought with her for her mother's grave. "Those used to fill the dining room vase every year around this time. Amelia liked them, too." And then Connie handed him a few of them. "For Amelia," she said. J was almost grinning as he turned to place them on his wife's grave. "See, Emmie, what did I tell you? Kind and thoughtful." He pressed two fingers to his lips for a moment before pressing those two fingertips to Em's grave. "Just like you...," he whispered to himself.

He got back to his feet a moment later, taking a deep breath before turning back to Connie. He was determined not to show his pain. "I'll give you some time with your mother then." And he gave her hand a gentle squeeze before letting his hand fall and turning to go.

====================

[/size][/center]

tagged: person you're writing to
words: word count
notes: notes
lyrics: we are one from the lion king II
credit: LAVIEBOHEME @ caution 2.o

[Connie Lynn Marshall]

Casted out

I’m watching your eyes

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style,background-image: url('http://i996.photobucket.com/albums/af82/sataraalcaelahn/Lux%20Lunae/bluegradient.jpg');,true][cs=2] Love is like starting over

[atrb=width,240] Connie smiled faintly when Jason held a hand out to her, and she took it in one of hers, squeezing gently as she stepped a little closer. This place was a sad place, but she felt more comforted with him here than she would have if she had been alone. She supposed sometimes it was easier to deal with death when someone else was there. Her smile grew a little when Jason said he'd been talking about her and Luk and Everleigh. She tilted her head up to look at him, and was relieved that he thought her and Amelia would have been good friends. "I wish I could have met her." She squeezed his hand gently again, and looked down at the graves. She didn't know what to say to them, though, so stayed silent. She looked back up at Jason and shrugged a little. "I've... Not been here since the pack split..." It had been so long... "And when I came back I just..." She trailed off, unsure of what else to say. Her mother's grave was a few spots down, but she didn't move off to it yet. When Jason accepted the flowers she handed him for Amelia, she watched him as he placed them on the grave, then kissed two fingers and placed that on the grave as well. Connie's heart ached with sadness for him as she watched, silently. She lowered her eyes to the flowers when he turned back, not wanting him to see her feelings in her eyes. When Jason stood again, he grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently. "I'll give you some time with your mother then." She glanced back up at him as his hand started to slip from hers, but she grasped it. "Don't leave..." She sounded lost, even to herself. She wanted to go say hello to her mother, to apologize for not coming sooner, but... It was so hard by herself. With Jason there, though, it felt easier. She glanced over to her mother's grave, then back up at Jason. "Please?"

[atrb=width,100] words , tagged , Jason notes , Sad memories

table by Kat ;; lyrics by 10 Years